Breaking up
by Rubbertoebehe
Summary: Kurt finds it difficult to shake how he feels for a certain someone.


"Let me go!" the anger in his voice acrid as he marched down the halls of McKinley High, pumping out each word from deep within him. Kurt's right arm was ensnared by two firm, determined hands. "I wish you would leave—"

"Please don't say it, Kurt. I love you!" The boy was determined, desperate.

"You don't know what you want. You're confused; you're acting crazy right now!" Walking out the front doors of the school he was still dragging the lovesick, attached ball and chain. Kurt stopped to face him, relaxing his muscles, but still keeping himself tense. Staring into the other's sorrowful, tearing eyes, seeing how his dense eyebrows furrowed and twitched with worry, his initial rage wallowed as it was replaced with pity and guilt. He still wanted to be miles away from him.

"Kurt, I'm sorry. Coming here, dealing with the change, seeing you act…different suddenly, it's just made me paranoid. I'm sorry though, I'll never say or d-do anything that angers you again. I'll be perfect, just please look at me!" he said as he tried to look up into Kurt's eyes, cast away to the right. He was shaking Kurt's arm, the one he refused to release, trying to stoke a reaction out of him.

"Blaine," Kurt began half-heartedly, "just…you don't understand."

"I do, I really do! You've filled me with so much to look forward. I've been squeezing you too hard and over-analyzing and I've been so blind. I'll stop, anything for you." he said as he squeezed Kurt's wrist more, trying to tug him closer. Kurt kept back though.

"What you don't understand is that…you're fears," he said slowly, cautiously, "are—"

"Hey, Anderson!" Kurt's eminent attest was curtailed by a sudden fierce bellow coming from the doors of the school. It was David. David Karofsky. "I see you harassing him!" he yelled as he came closer, coming down the concrete steps two at a time.

"Dave wait," he said as he motioned to come between the still Blaine and the encroaching David. Finally he slipped his wrist out of Blaine's grip, registering how easy it was and how heavy the guilt sat like lead in his chest. "It's okay, Dave, please."

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, I was moving books for a teacher when I heard," he said as he moved his glance gingerly from Kurt to Blaine, sneering.

"Kurt, I..." Blaine appeared suddenly depressed of breath, his shoulder's sagging under the realization hitting him.

"Blaine I was going to say that you were…right." He positioned himself fully in front of him now, keeping his back to Dave. "I'm so sorry, but first week back at class and I can't deny…what's changed…." He nodded off, not wanting to explain how David's clear and eagerness and passion to be a better person to him and for him was all but explosive. It would have hurt Blaine to know why, and made it easier for himself not to explain it.

"But…why?" Blaine said. Kurt would have audibly cursed fate if it wasn't such a delicate situation.

"It's what he wants," David said flatly, looking down at the distraught boy dully.

"Go back inside Dave, please," Kurt said turning to face him now, placing a hand on him chest softly. Without another word he did as he was asked, taking a few steps back before actually turning around.

After he had opened and went through the doors, Kurt turned to face Blaine now, still looking down.

"Just tell me why, Kurt. I thought you loved me."

"I did," he said tentatively, wanting to comfort him with a pat on the shoulder, but keeping his hands by his side, not wanting to send mixed messages. "I thought I did anyways." Ouch he thought. Kurt recalled the day in the coffee shop after nationals when Blaine told him suddenly that he loved him. He remembered the anxiety that coursed through his veins that day; it ran like ice water. The same sensation was filling him up now. Images of David before him, revealing so much to him, doing so much for him flashed through his mind that day so long ago. They did now. He couldn't belabor this though. He never thought he'd have to do this and didn't know how.

"I don't know if I ever really…" he began, but quickly changed tactics. Telling him there was never even anything between them wasn't entirely true and even more so harsh. "I was alone and confused. I was in such a bad place before I met you. You've given me so much, but what I need now is not what you can give me." The words were bitter on his tongue as he spoke them and Blaine didn't let him pass off this bitter taste. He was to be forced to swallow now.

"So you used me? You took what you needed and now that I'm not vital part of your life anymore you're going to throw me away?" He became bitter himself now, except he was expelling his anger. Kurt was trying to keep down how sick and awful he felt.

"No it's not like that. It's hard to explain—"

"Because that's what it is. You were a lonely kid and you led me on. Now I need you and you don't see much left of what you want; you jump ship to another guy. If you recall like I do you'd remember he was the one that made you miserable!" he shrieked.

"He's so much more than that now, Blaine," Kurt retaliated pleadingly. If he knew anything it was that David was so much better now.

"And everything I've done for you was what, hmm? How is he so worth you now?"

"Don't write him off like you did the first time you met him, don't you dare!" Kurt screeched, the first time he knew he was standing honorable for something confronting Blaine.

"How long are you going to lead him on? What is it that he has anyways?"

Kurt was breathing sporatically, trying to keep back the hot tears forming in his eyes, just waiting to breach the ledge of his lids. He could only stare past Blaine now, refusing to see his nasty glare. The amount of validation he gave that disgusted look was criminal. He wished he was in the pit of a volcano. He wanted to appease a god, anything, anyone, just to get him out of this situation. It's what he told himself how he should feel anyways. He really wanted to be in David's arms, away from any guilt.

Suddenly he didn't feel so sick. He thought of the David's smile after the first time they were alone together in the choir room. They only talked, but it had meant so much to him and made him so happy just thinking about it. He could breathe again. Exhaling once more, wiping the hot tears pooling in his eyes away, he spoke. "I want what's real," he said.

Dumbfounded, Blaine stared at him for a moment. Finally speaking he was clearly unappeased.

"Real? You don't know what's real." He looked at him for a second more before turning around. "You thought I was crazy, that I didn't know what I want?" he said as if he was about to scream. He didn't raise his voice anymore, but simply calmed himself. "Don't look at me in the halls, ever. Just…don't do anything." He walked away from the school, from Kurt, not looking back.

He stood there, frozen. He thought about what Blaine had said, but more so what words he said. He was right, he knew he was. He then smiled, breathing hot, nervous air out through his nose.

"I'm sorry." Kurt turned to his side to see Dave standing next to him, looking out the same direction.

"Thank you, Dave."

"What did he say to you?" he said calmly.

He didn't speak for a moment, wary whether or not he wanted to explain everything or not. Instead he cut to the chase. "Just that I was wrong, that I don't know what is real," Kurt said with a shrug, trying to make light of what was still thrumming through his chest.

"Said the guy that only started liking you because of a dead bird," he said calmly still. A moment later Kurt was laughing. He finally turned to face Dave, looking up at him.

"I shouldn't have told you that story."

"You told me everything," he said as he looked at Kurt with a grin.

"Can't say I'd take any of it back," Kurt said, reciprocating Dave's humor.

David reached out to hold both of Kurt's hands. He held them for a moment before leaning down to kiss him. He pulled back after a moment. "I can't say the same."

"I know, but you can keep trying to make it up to me."

"You'll never allow us to be even will you?"

"It's not fun that way," he said as he jumped up to kiss David, wrapping his arms around his body, hugging him fully.


End file.
